you guys were way drunker than both of me
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
FUCK WHALES
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