So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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