Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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