he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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