Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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