It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
