this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
