they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
