we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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