Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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