so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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