If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
