I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
