the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
