No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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