Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
