what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He felt like a one man threesome
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
