You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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