hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
