there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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