Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
