ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
