If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
