ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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