I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
