you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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