Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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