Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
