And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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