i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
