He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
