Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
