how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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