Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
