I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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