watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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