Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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