Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
