i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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