i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
