Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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