thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
And the cops told us we were all naked.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
