No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
