My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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