i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Drake has all the answers
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
