I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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