Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
