I am puke
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
