Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
