he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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