as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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