you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
