I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize