Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
