I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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