Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
