wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
