So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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