They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
